Viking Rampage in Munich

Nine victims shot dead in a shopping area in Munich; lone shooter apparently commits suicide after attack. May God have mercy on the souls of the dead, and bring healing to the injured and comfort to the bereaved.

Loyal readers may ask: Why do I blame the Vikings for this attack, when everyone knows that one must always blame the Irish for these sorts of things?

Answer: Because despite the obviously Irish roots of the attacker — Ali David Sonboly (note the Old Testament middle name) — the authorities and the news media have maintained that attack was not “terrorist related” and have, instead, insistently likened the attacker to the Norwegian mass-murderer Anders Behring Breivik. This wasn’t Irish terrorism; it was a Viking Berserker attack, obviously!

And of course, the important thing is not to focus on why southern Germany is suddenly overrun by Viking warriors when it is a thousand miles from Scandinavia — and hundreds of miles from the nearest beach where a longship could land. To think too hard about that question would undoubtedly be Racist. No; the important thing, as always, is to blame the inanimate equipment used in the attack.

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